CexCells

For the past two days I’ve been listening to ‘CexCells’ by Blaqk Audio to the exclusion of all others. I really have to be in the mood for electronic music, and I guess I’ve been in the proper mood. I bought the album when it first came out but didn’t really listen to it. Then I listened to bits and pieces and I’ve finally broke down and listened to the whole thing front to back. AMAZING.

It’s been really soothing these past few days when I’ve been ever so close to either a nervous breakdown or a castrating rampage. That’s right, I said castrating. Stupid Boy. Anyway, it’s also making me want to get up and dance, and nothing makes me want to get up and dance. Seriously. It’s also great music to design along with. It makes the inanity easier to swallow.

Musically, it’s great. The beats are so much fun and Davey’s really doing some creative things with his singing. I was unaware he could croon. I love it. There are some pared down slow burners mixed in with some decadent flourishes. Like I said, LOVE.

To prove my devotion, here’s a song by song breakdown:

‘Stiff Kittens’: The visual image I get from this is different step teams on roller skates just straight up breaking it down. Is that weird? Lyrically, my favorite part is, ‘If you show me heaven, I will meet you there.’

‘Between Breaths (An XX Perspective)’: There is sooooo much to love about this one. Davey singing about naughty things? Yes, please, keep going. The beats of the song are so slinky and sexy. It’s not stripper music; it’s fuck music. ‘Please Please Please, don’t take it, take it easy on me, just make it, make it, make it harder to breathe, so I climb on top and I’ll never stop til I make you forget who you are.’ Um yeah, what he said. Sweet Jesus.

‘Snuff on Digital’: The beat of this song makes me want to dance, run, fuck or some combination thereof. The chorus is one of those aforementioned flourishes that erases everything from your brain and leaves behind only the urge to move. ‘Immobile lights will fly tonight, We’ll watch them pass together as we part the rising sky, I won’t die without you, These breathtaking heights lend sparkling sights, But we won’t fall forever, Tightly bound we’ll chase the ground, I won’t die without you.’ That makes me happy.

‘Bitter for Sweet’: This is a little more industrial sounding. Lyrically it’s also a bit darker. Example: ‘How deep must we cut, to reach sensation.’ Of course, I’m not the Daily Mail so I know that dark lyrics do not a suicide death cult make. The last quarter of this song is the cherry on the cake. I love those really fast, up-tempo hooks. I think I might have been a raver in a past life.

‘Where Would You Like Them Left?’: I consider this one a slow burner. It’s not really danceable; it’s more sit back and chill. May favorite line ‘It’s a lot to take, but they won’t find us, it’s a lot to take I know, I know, it’s a lot to face, but pay no mind, cause this is how we’re made you know, and so’ mainly because he sings it in this sexy little whisper that is almost unbearable.

‘The Fear of Being Found’: This is a dreamy little pop song. I love it. Those flourishes I mentioned? Full of them. It’s so very soothing. ‘Could I change one thing?, Could I change your mind?, Shall we burn it just like the last time?, I can’t change a thing, can’t explain why I never felt it, Not even the first time,’ feels oddly relevant to me, even though I don’t like The Boy muddling with my Blaqk Audio listening experience.

‘On a Friday’: I design like a motherfucker to this song. Seriously, when I need to kick ass and take names and get a shit ton of pages out in record time, this is the jam. If I weren’t usually at work, I’d totally be dancing along with this. Oh, and because Davey’s apparently in my head and knows my shit before I do, there’s this little gem of a lyric: ‘Did he want you? Did you want to? Did you question what it meant to you, With a beat between your breaths?’ And at about the 3 minute mark, it takes all my willpower not to burst out into song and dance. That’d be embarrassing.

‘The Love Letter’: This mixes industrial and dreamy and it is a beautiful thing. Favorite line? ‘Walk right through me, I’m not really there.’ This is also fuck music. ‘What I’ll never show, what you’ll never find, is explosive, so hide your eyes.’ Again, Davey, get outta my head, sir!

‘Semiotic Love’: To quote Sprockets: ‘Now is the time on Sprockets vhen ve dance!’ Again, had I not been at work, I would have burst into a horrible techno dance. ‘I’ll stand forever, and love whatever, breaks my heart’ and ‘Just say goodbye, I live and I’ll die, hooked on a star, enraptured by the sky, in love with a satellite’ make me unbearably happy.

‘Cities of Night’: I love the beat to this. It’s another kinda chill one and works as a great follow up to ‘Semiotic Love.’ This also provides my new favorite lyric: ‘Will you live in hope, or dark desire, what can I say, oh, fuck love give me fire.’ Preach, good sir — PREACH! Because I’m a newspaper nerd ‘We’ll shine this time, we’ll make headlines’ makes me smile.

‘Again, Again and Again’: I fucking love this. The beat is awesome. It’s that fast-paced, thumping rhythm that doesn’t let up. Fabulous. Oh and the chorus: ‘What’ll it take for you to surrender, I gave you a taste oh how you’ve grown, this great trial, this self denial, it’s a trial to leave you clean, because I like it dark and low, you know’ LOVE. Oh, and they were smart enough to leave that last serial comma off. YAY!

‘Wake Up, Open the Door and Escape to the Sea’: This is just beautiful. Try to listen to this and not want to grab a sweetheart and cuddle like a mother fucker. ‘But, oh, My, my, you’re oh so sly, Let’s leave unsaid, What’s left unspoken, And oh, my boy, You’re oh so coy, Let’s just pretend, That nothing’s broken.’ All right Davey, I give up. You’re obviously reading my thoughts, setting them to a techno beat and making me fucking like it. You win.

Same old story

Work schedule shenanigans prevent me from doing an in-depth post about ‘Twilight’ or Adore and I desperately need to get to those at some point.

However, can someone please explain dudes to me. I really don’t get them. AT. ALL. OK, I should say there’s just one in particular that stumps me. Otherwise known simply as The Boy, he’s well-known with my two besties. And they both think he’s an asshole. Yeah, they’re probably right. Whatever.

Anyway, I’ve known this dude since mid-March. He has this habit of coming around to play and then disappearing. I haven’t heard from him in weeks, then at about 8:30ish this morning I hear a rapping on my window. WTF, I say. No one wakes me up at that hour. Even Mom’s learned not to do that. Lo and behold, it’s The Boy. We hook up, he makes plans for later in the day, like an idiot I plan my day around it and now I’m sitting here waiting for a text message that’s not going to come. Yes, this is one of many proud moments where The Boy is concerned.

So to drown my confusion (and, I’ll admit it, sorrows), I’m baking. And it’s not going over so well. Instead of tofu as an egg replacer, I used ground flax seeds. This was a bad idea. I think I’m just going to break down and buy that damn egg replacer every vegan site I go to raves about. I can find a use for the flax seeds and tofu I guess.

However, I did have a fun food find today. Success 10-minute brown rice in portabello flavor. So friggin’ good. Probably unhealthier than I care to admit, but whatever. I miss rice. Weight Watchers has some evil vendetta against rice, but I love the shit. I also bought some whole wheat pasta today and as soon as I order some nutritional yeast, I’m going to try out this mac and cheese recipe I found.

Then to add to the fun and adventure, I dropped one of my roommate’s bowls as I was unloading the dishwasher and one of the shards gigged me good. Little bastard cut my hand in four places. I am unamused. I also burnt my hand taking my last batch of cookies out of the oven. I am a walking comedy of errors. Oh, and I haven’t done my laundry yet, and I don’t have a stitch of clean clothes. Yup, I’m killing ‘em today.

I was supposed to work out today, which I haven’t done in WEEKS, but considering it’s a quarter til 9 and I still have laundry to do, I don’t think it’s gonna happen.

It hasn’t all been bad though. I finally gave in to the siren call of Flyleaf and downloaded ‘All Around Me.’ I saw them live at Memphis in May and was kinda ambivalent about them until the end of their set when the singer decided to start getting preachy. I hate that shit. I don’t often get all ‘Shut up and sing!’ but I don’t like being preached at. But the radio stations around here kept playing the shit out of that song so I finally surrendered.

I also listened all the way through Blaqk Audio’s album again. God, it is fucking great. I really have to be in the mood for electronic music, even if it is boys from AFI. Today, I was apparently in the mood. ‘Again, Again and Again’ might very well have unseated ‘Where Would You Like Them Left?’ as my favorite off the record. It’d be a great motivator to exercise if I still had the will.

As far as exercise goes, I’m just bored to death with the treadmill and the elliptical does horrible things to my muscles. I’ve tried the DDR, but I suck at it so I’ll be at it for about five minutes before I get pissed off and give up. I’m seriously looking into this Wii Fit thing. But I don’t want to drop $90 on something for it to end up like DDR and Guitar Hero (which I’ve only played with twice since I bought it; I’m really a terrible person).

Various Odds and Ends

First off, my nephews are spending time with Mom right now in Virginia and Mom sent me this wonderful shot.

Aren’t they cute?! Zachary, 8, is on the left and Tristan, 5, is on the right. They rock!

Baking News: I broke down and bought a vegan brownie mix and just subbed in ingredients. Yes, it’s cheating; no, I don’t care. Of course, the fuckers turned out perfect. Whatever, I have brownies!

Nom nom nom.

I also spent the better part of my weekend (your weekend is probably Saturday and Sunday like nature intended. Nope, not me. I go against nature and have Wednesday and Thursday off. For now.) designing a cookbook. It covers only vegan baked goods and a few breakfast items like waffles and French toast. It also features photos of Davey Havok with captions courtesy of my loser self. Keep in mind these are recipes I found elsewhere and tweaked to my liking. Note to vegans: Stop using so much oil!!!

Take a look!

I’ve been meaning to continue my deconstruction of The Smashing Pumpkins catalog, but I’ve been too busy to devote the time it richly deserves. I’m going to be skipping Gish, because, well, I don’t care for Gish. Sorry. Adore will most likely be the next album I tackle. I’m gonna wedge a few takes from Pisces Iscariot in there at some point.

Until then, enjoy this clip!

Oh yea, the Twilight review? Yeah, about that. My roommate borrowed the books and I just got Twilight back. I need to give it a good once over before I write the review. I’m so incredibly excited for the movie and I’m absolutely distressed over the new book. I just know the author’s gonna make Bella do something stupid, I just know it!

But enough of that; how fucking sexy is Edward in this clip?!

Going Veg … is harder than it sounds

Giving up meat in everyday cooking was easy enough. Especially since I’m taking it slow and gradually giving up meat instead of just dropping it all at once. Boca burgers are deceptively good and I love the hell out of beans anyway. I like veggies, too, so that takes care of that. Fruit is the shit, so that’s fun too. I’m keeping cheese (albeit on a limited basis) for the time being. Frankly, I can’t give up cheese yet.

Now for the hard stuff. I’ve discovered vegan does not necessarily equal healthy. Especially in baking! Sure, you’ve nixed the eggs. Yeah, you’re using soy milk instead of fatty ‘Moo Cow Fuck Milk’ (Thanks, Lewis Black!). But guess what, you’re still using oil and sugar! And fried tofu is still fried, ya’ll!

Eating at restaurants is a fuckton harder too. Example: Grilled chicken sandwich without mayo or order of french fries, which is healthier? OK, now which is vegan? Yeeeaaahhh. As much as I’d love a good vegan restaurant, I live in South Mississippi, there’s no such thing down here.

Oh, and non-dairy butter or cream cheese or sour cream is tough as shit to find around here.

But I am undeterred! I’m even going to give tofu a whirl and see what I can come up with.

Brownies!! (Update)

The second time’s the charm!! These fluffed up properly and everything. I haven’t tasted them yet, but yay!

I’m supposed to be writing a review of ‘Twilight’ but instead, I put my meager vegan baking skills to work.

They’re not great, but they’re a start!

Going Veg

I am embarking on what will either be the most brilliant decision of my life or the dumbest thing I’ve done yet. I’m going to become a vegetarian. Well, to be specific, lacto-vegetarian. I’m not entirely sure I can give up cheese.

My reasons relate mostly to health, that of my body and of the environment. I’ve already cut out red meat and a vast majority of egg-based dishes for diet reasons, so I think I can handle the leap to no meat at all. I’ve decided to gradually phase out meat as opposed to quitting cold turkey (ha!). One reason being I bought meat on my last grocery trip and I take serious issue with throwing away perfectly good food. We’re in a recession, and I’m not made of money!

I’m definitely inspired by the number of vegan recipes I’ve found. While I don’t intend to go Vegan in my daily life, I think baking Vegan could be a useful skill. I haven’t been able to enjoy baked goods in so long because of all the fat and other nastiness in typical baked items. There are a ton of vegetarian versions of things I already eat and a hundred different ways to tweak foods I already eat. For example, refried beans instead of taco meat, strips of portobella mushrooms in place of steak, etc.

I’m a little frightened by some of the new ingredients I’m going to have to familiarize myself with. Tofu, for whatever reason, scares me the most. I don’t know what it is about that stuff, but it gives me the creeps. It looks like a fairly versatile food, but I can’t get over how much it resembles PlayDoh.

Has anyone else gone vegetarian and lived to tell about it? Know anybody else who has? Lemme know! I need all the encouragement I can get!

Song to Sing When I’m Lonely

I just finished reading the first three books of the Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyer. It was amazing. But I’m saving my big critique until Sheena finishes them so I don’t spoil everything.

However, since I’ve finished them and the final installment is still months away, I’ve been lackadaisical. I realize it’s because I connected with the characters on such a level that having them gone is like having your best friend just up and move away without saying goodbye.

In honor of that unsettled feeling, here are the songs I like to listen to when I’m in that melancholy, I-miss-my-friends mood.

‘Olala’ by Sensation Junkies: My favorite line from this is ‘I may not amount to much more than a smile and a memory.’ It always reminds me of the friends who have come and gone who really are no more than a smile and a memory. I know I’m little more than that to some people. But that’s life, right?

‘Lonely Day’ by System of a Down: Surprisingly emo for them, but still really good. The line ‘And if you go, I want to go with you, and if you die, I want to die with you, take your hand and walk away’ always makes me misty. Combine haunting vocals, intricate and flowing guitar work and heady lyrics and you have the perfect tearjerker from a band not known for tearjerkers.

‘Feel it Now’ by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club: I literally just heard this song. It was playing during the wind down of BONES. I may or may not have started crying. A few choice lines: ‘I’m on my own, I’m sure I’ll feel it now’ and ‘I leave myself behind in pieces, I know you’ll need them when I’m gone’

‘The Days of the Phoenix’ by AFI: OK, so AFI never fails to make me feel better about life in general. The video for this song is crazy distracting because the cameraman feels the need to zoom in on Davey’s crotch every five seconds. Some of my favorite lines are ‘I fell into yesterday, our dreams seemed not far away, I want to, I want to, I want to stay, I fell into a fantasy’ and ‘Nothing could touch us then, no one could change us then, and everyone was dancing, nothing could hurt us then, no one could see us then, and everyone was dancing’

‘At the Stars’ by Better Than Ezra: This was one of my favorite songs while I was in Chicago, when I actually had a shore to consider. I was also in a quasi maybe might be a relationship with a dude I met on the Web. Yeah, that was a proud moment. My favorite lines are still, ‘I’ve already found that everybody loves to love you when you’re far away’ and ‘Blame us because we are who are, hate us because you’ll never get that far’

‘Snow (Hey Oh)’ by the Red Hot Chili Peppers: You cannot be sad while listening to this song. It is impossible. I feel all happy and bouncy. And I sing along. LOUDLY. The line ‘When I sit alone, come get a little know, but I need more than myself this time’ always reminds me that it’s totally OK to bitch to my friends. They’ll love me regardless.

Feel like getting your cry on?

I don’t for once, but I’m bored and need to post something so I submit the following for your consideration: ‘Crestfallen’ by The Smashing Pumpkins with clips from ‘Brokeback Mountain.’

Magic’s in the Makeup

On this point, me and Miss Stefani are in complete agreement (well, on most points me and Miss Stefani are in complete agreement). I love makeup. Foundation, cleanser, eye shadow, liner, lipstick — I love it all! You can emphasize your finer points (Much like Ned Beatty in Deliverance, I have a pretty mouth. Though I’ve never had Surprize Butsecks with hill folks). You can also camouflage your less than finer points (Hi pimples! Hi undereye circles that never go away!). Or you can go crazy and look like something, anything, completely different. Go Goth, be a rave kid, vamp it out. The possibilities are endless.

Now allow me to gush on the products I use each and every day. I’ll go into my more avant garde stuff later. Because I’m nice, I’ll even tell you where to get it and how much you’ll probably pay for it.

Cleanser:

Cetaphil is my cleanser of choice because my skin is mad cranky. Just one pump gets my whole face nice and clean. I’ve heard of people using it to take makeup off, but I wouldn’t try it. Also, it uh, sorta resembles a certain bodily fluid. Yes, I’m 12; shut up. It’ll set you back about $10, but you get a massive amount (16 fl. oz.), and like I said, you only need one pump to get your whole face clean. You can find it almost anywhere (Walgreens, Wal-Mart, CVS, etc.).

If you’re looking for something a little higher end, Kinerase’s Gentle Daily Cleanser is fabulous. A bit creamier than Cetaphil, it’s just as calming and my skin adored it. Unfortunately, it’s going to set you back $30 and unless you have a Sephora store close by, you’ll need to head online (my favorite online beauty source is Sephora) to get a hold of it. I only had a sample so I don’t know how long a full-sized bottle (6.6 ounces) of this stuff will last you, but it might be worth the price.

Moisturizer:

Olay Complete All Day Moisturizer is fabulous for sensitive skin and it has the added bonus of SPF. It has a really nice consistency and does a fantastic job of keeping skin supple. Because it’s for sensitive skin and has no added fragrances, you can use as much as you want. Even so, just a dab gets the job done easily. It costs between $6 - $8 and you can get it at the usual places (Wal-Mart, Walgreens, you know the drill). Also, coupons pop up often enough, so you can get it for even cheaper. You also get a good amount of product for the money (4 fl oz). Mine actually went bad before I ever ran out.

Another, more expensive, option is Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Gel. The gel is an alternative to the lotion version of the same product. It’s also very good for sensitive skin and soaks in like a dream. The downside is its lack of SPF (Boo, Clinique, boo!). But it comes in a handy dandy pump and you can slather on as much as you like. It’s probably necessary as just a dab does nothing for me. A 4.2 ounce bottle costs $23 and you can get it at any Clinique counter, Clinique’s Web site or Sephora.

Primer:

I confess I don’t use primer as much as probably should, but when I do, MAC’s Prep + Prime Face Protect is a godsend. It has SPF 50 — that’s right people, 50!!! It has a deliciously creamy consistency and just a little goes a long way. Which is good because it’s pretty expensive for such a small amount. You’ll be ponying up $26.50 for 1 fl oz. Yup, one ounce. You’ll have to hit up your local MAC counter or Web site to get it.

Another good option I’ve found is Napolean Perdis Auto Pilot Pre-foundation Primer. I got sample of this with an order from Sephora’s Web site (that’s the beauty of Sephora; samples, lovely samples) and it made my foundation look smooth and last for a good while. This, however, offers no SPF and a 1.7 oz. tube will set you back $39. Also, you’ll probably need to hit up the Web to get it. Primer’s not a requirement though, and while I listed it with my daily routine, it won’t hurt to skip it.

Concealer:

OK, I’ve presented two options for every category, but I’ve only ever used one concealer, so that’s the one I’m going to gush about. I use Estee Lauder’s Double Wear Stay-in-Place Concealer. It blends well with my foundation (which is also Estee Lauder, but we’ll get to that). It covers pimples and dark under eye circles well and comes in a pretty convenient package. It also has SPF 10. Yes, I am obsessed with sun protection; why do you ask? A .24 fl oz tube will cost $19.50 and you can get it at an Estee Lauder counter or their Web site.

Foundation:

I’m a fickle creature when it comes to foundations, I’ll admit. I’ve used a million different kinds in a myriad of formulations. My current favorite is Estee Lauder’s Double Matte foundation. It has an SPF of 15 and eight different shades to choose from. That’s not many, but mine seems to do a decent job of matching my skin. True to its name, it stays shine free throughout most of the day, though I always have to blot toward the end of the night. Just a small amount gives my face excellent coverage, and it doesn’t feel heavy or sticky. A 1 fl oz bottle costs $32.50 and can be found at an Estee Lauder counter or the Web.

Another great option is from Clinique. It’s called Perfectly Real. It matches skin like a dream, blends great and has a lovely, almost mousse-like texture. However, its staying power is woefully limited and it does absolutely nothing to stop the greasies. If you’re not of the oily persuasion, it would be a fantastic option. It covers well and, like most foundation, a little goes a long way. A 1 oz. tube costs $22.50 and you can get it through your Clinique counter, their Web site or Sephora.

Blush:

I’m new to the blush game and it’s definitely territory where one must tread lightly. The right shade can make you look flushed and awake; the wrong shade can make you look like a graduate from clown college. One of the best I’ve found is Hot Mama from TheBalm. It’s a pretty peachy pink with a gold shimmer. Don’t fear the shimmer though, it’s very subtle. It gives a sexy, ‘I’ve just finished a romp in the sheets’ flush that’s still very wearable. I’ve given it a whirl as an eye shadow, but wasn’t all that impressed. The packaging is incredibly cheeky and not terribly expensive at $18 for an 1 oz. package. As with most things, hit up Sephora.

A more recent discovery is Dandelion by Benefit. This powder has been out for a while, but I lived in fear of pink blush. This stuff is nothing to fear. Though it’s called a highlighter online and a few online reviews say it makes a better face powder, with my admittedly pasty complexion it makes me look like a good night’s rest even when I’m dog tired. It comes with its own brush which is feels velvety and does a good job of distributing the powder evenly. You’ll plunk down $28 for .35 oz, but a little goes a long way. Hit up Sephora or Benefit’s Web site.

Face Powder:

I’ll admit I have a love/hate relationship with face powder. I love the airbrushed look it gives my face; I loathe the way it cakes up when I so much as break a sweat. I switch out powders depending on what I need on any given day. My usual go to is Mineral Veil by Bare Escentuals. I got this in the Bare Escentuals mineral makeup starter kit. I HATED the foundation, never touched the bronzer, left the Skin Revver-Upper in the box and pretended the brushed didn’t exist, but the Mineral Veil is love. It goes on nice and sheer and keeps things in place. It is a bit on the shimmery side, which can get annoying. A .47 ounce jar costs $19. Hit up Sephora.

My second favorite is what I use when my makeup absolutely cannot move for any reason. Estee Lauder’s Double Matte Oil-Control pressed powder holds everything together and does an efficient job keeping the shine in its place. A .49 oz compact has lasted me almost three years. $25 may be a bit much for some, but seriously, I’ve had mine for three years! Take to the Web or the mall to find it.

Eye Shadow:

I love eye shadow. Like really love. Will have eye shadow’s babies kinda love. It’s the most versatile of all makeup products. While yes, some colors do compliment certain eye and skin colors, generally anyone can wear any kind of eye makeup.That said, I have my favorites. My everyday eye color is Vellum by MAC. A frosty white in the pot, it’s a duochrome that shine purple and blue from different angles. In a word: Gorgeous! It’s subtle enough to wear to work, but still crazy glam. The pot appears small at a mere .05 oz, a little goes a long way. It costs $14. A word of warning about MAC eye shadows in general: This stuff does not play. It’s heavily pigment and if you’re not careful, you may end up looking like a drag queen without meaning to.

This one isn’t just one eye shadow. Oh no, friends, it’s a palette. I love palettes; they’re the best way to get the most bang for your buck. Urban Decay’s Deluxe Shadow Box is a true winner. This set features nine of the brand’s Deluxe eye shadows which are velvety, heavily pigmented joys in and of themselves. The Deluxe line has 11 shades in total. The only ones missing from this are Heat and Sting. But there’s still something for everyone. Shimmery neutrals (the pretty Champagne colored Scratch is my favorite of those) mingle with bold brights and a dark blue and a gorgeous black round it out. This set also comes with a sample sized Primer Potion, which is a fantastic eye shadow base. Each shadow is about .03 oz, but a small amount is all you need for intense color. The shebang costs $36 and can be found at Sephora or Urban Decay’s Web site.

Mascara:

I bought CoverGirl Lash Blast mainly because Drew Barrymore was in the advertisements and Drew would never, ever steer me wrong. And I’m happy to report she was right again. I bought the waterproof version because my allergies can make my eyes water and I like avoid raccoon eyes when I can. A lot of people across the Web hate on this product, but I love it. The wand is thicker than most and it takes some getting used to. Also, you cannot be heavy handed with this one; use a light touch. A .44 fl oz tube will run you about $7, and keep your eyes peeled for coupons. It’s easy to find at whatever drugstore or discount store makes you happy.

Another option is Clinique’s High Definition Lashes. It has a spiffy little comb on the other side of the brush that I never use. The formula and the regular brush are more than enough to get your lashes all sex kitten looking. It has staying power, though it’s not waterproof. A .24 fl oz tube will run you $14 and you can get it wherever you get Clinique, you know on the Web, in the mall, etc.

Eyeliner:

All things considered, I suck at eyeliner. But I keep on keeping on! My personal favorite is Urban Decay’s Heavy Metal Glitter Liner. It comes in a vibrant array of colors and it’s a liquid so you brush it on. You can pile it on heavy for a glam punk effect or go easy on it and be edgy but still classy. A .25 fl oz tube costs $18 and you can get it from Sephora or the brand’s Web site.

Urban Decay and MAC kick ass in the eye makeup department. Woe unto me I haven’t tried any of MAC’s liners yet, but Urban Decay’s 24/7 Glide-On Eye pencils take the cake. They come in vibrant shades and glide on smooth with no pulling or tugging. They’re just sparkly enough to be fun without being straight-up tacky. They’re also waterproof and delightfully creamy. A .04 oz pencil costs about $16. Again, get it anywhere you get Urban Decay.

Lipstick:

My love for lip color knows no bounds. Truly. I adore it all. My favorite right now is Black Honey Almost Lipstick by Clinique. While it looks dangerously dark in the tube, it goes a delightful sheer berry that can be built up into a lovely, vampy wine. Its staying power leaves something to be desired, but it’s still a beautiful lip color that flatters everyone. A .07 oz tube will set you back $14 and you can get it wherever you get Clinique.

L’Oreal’s Infallible Lip Gloss was a find brought to my attention by my dearly beloved Sheena. My shade is Fiery which looks a scary brown in the bottle, but is a pretty coral with gold shimmer on lips. The glossiness eventually wears off, but it leaves behind a pretty coral stain. It’s a steal at about $9 for a .21 fl oz tube. Coupons pop up for it, so keep a look out.

Makeup Remover:

Now that you’ve got it all on, it’s time to take it all off. No, not like that! Sleeping in makeup is evil, so you have to remove it at the end of the night. My favorite (and the only one I ever use) is MAC’s Cleanse Off Oil. It seems counterintuitive to use oil to clean your face, but this stuff is amazing. Waterproof mascara and tough foundation doesn’t stand a chance. One or two pumps slathered on a dry face and then washed off with a washcloth gets your mug ready for the rest of your routine. $20 for 5 fl oz sounds like a lot, but I’ve had mine for 6 months. Get it at the MAC counter or the Web site.

This post was way longer than I meant for it to go, but next time I’ll go into products that I love, but don’t use daily.

Pork and Bean!!!

In honor of my best gal’s birthday, I present the one and the only GERARD!

He’s pensive because he’s not currently chained to your bed post. I’d be angry too really.

He’s thinking ‘Nom nom nom, this microphone is tasty but Bean would be better!’

My pelvis, let me show you it.

Does this shot make me look artsy?

JAZZ HANDS! And hips!

A tongue, I haz one!!! You can take it from there!

Hehe. Sweaty. Hehe.

HAVE THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER, HOT MAMA!!!!