I’m BAAAACK

It’s been a while, I’ll admit. Writer’s block is a pain in the ass. Hopefully I’ll have something interesting to say this time around!

Top Five

Writer’s block sucks, kids. Therefore, I’ll give you a random sampling of random Top Five lists I’ve been thinking about lately. I promise I’ll be more literate next time!

Songs I have on super repeat:

‘Until it Sleeps’ by Metallica: I didn’t know til I read some Rolling Stone feature that this was about James Hetfield’s mother’s cancer. Deep, yo. Besides that, it’s effing METALLICA.

‘Death of Seasons’ by AFI: For one reason and one reason alone, the following line: ‘It won’t be all right despite what they say, just watch the stars tonight as they, as they disappear, disintegrate, and I disintegrate ’cause this hate is fucking real, and I hope to shade the world as stars go out and I disintegrate.’ Actually, the entire Sing the Sorrow album is good when you’re in a seriously bad mood.

‘This is How I Disappear’ by My Chemical Romance: Like ‘Death of Seasons,’ one line keeps me coming back: ‘You wanna see how far down I can sink?’

‘So What’ by P!nk: Any songs where girls get straight up aggressive makes me happy. And Pink’s just amazing.

‘Viva la Vida’ by Coldplay: I hate Coldplay but I love this song. Really lush with a lot of fun stuff going on in the background. You win this time, Chris Martin, but I still hate you.

Simple pleasures:

Jersey sheets: They’re awesome. I have about four different sets in all kinds of colors. So soft, so warm. Sigh.

Fluffy towels: OK, so I apparently have a thing for housewares. Whatever. Fluffy towels makes the world go round. True facts. There’s nothing worse than a rough, scratchy towel. Especially if you don’t feel good or you’re cranky.

Fabric softener: For years I operated under the delusion that dryer sheets were the same as fabric softener. No, kids, it is not the same. Pay the extra, buy the little Downy ball and a bottle of Downy Simple Pleasures in Turquoise Frost. Your clothes will smell like angels and feel like heaven on a marshmallow. It’s true.

Candles that smell like fall: The one I have burning in my room is mulled cider and I’m about to steal the pomegrante cider one out of the living room. I’ve got my eyes peeled for a good pumpkin spice one.

Apples: Did you know different types of apples have completely different tastes, texture, even smells? Yeah, apparently everyone knew this but me. Right now, my current favorite is braeburn. So friggin’ good. My all-time favorite though is Golden Delicious. Yum.

Bath/Beauty Finds:

Degree Clinical Strength Deodorant/antiperspirant: I forgot to pack my deodorant when I went to my brother’s and I had a coupon for it so I figured, ‘Why Not?’ Most. Amazing. Thing. Ever. I’m a mad sweaty chick and this keeps things nice and dry and pretty smelling. It’s one those soft solids, so it can get messy until you get used to how much you actually need, but it’s a small price to pay to keep the pits under control.

Philosophy Red Velvet Cake Lip Shine: It’s lippy that smells and tastes like cake. What more could you possibly need to know?

Crest Spinbrush: I have an Oral B Sonicare for home use, but this is good for when you need to travel and don’t want to lug around your entire toothbrush setup.  It’s not terribly expensive either, which is mad awesome. Oo, and they come in pretty colors. Mine’s purple!

Clinique’s Superpowder powder foundation: I can’t abide by liquid makeup in the summer and this has some seriously good coverage for a whole load cheaper than what MAC would like to charge me.

Suave Humectant Shampoo and Conditioner: So, you’ve heard about this recession we’ve got going on? In the spirit of being frugal, I’ve abandoned my uber expensive hair care products. This is good stuff, and so long as you’re keeping your hair healthy through all the other means (taking your vitamins, eating well, yada yada yada) no one will notice the difference.

Um, ew

‘Detailer Shower Tool’? It’s a bath pouf, mother fucker!!!

Seriously, UPS?

Please note two things: the shipment date and the estimated arrival date.

WTF?!

Guilty Pleasures

Everyone one has them. Those tracks on your iPod you really don’t want anyone to know you have. The songs you only listen to when no one’s around to catch snippets of it coming from your headphones.

Me? I’m honest about the crappy music I just cannot get enough of. Disco? Check. Stupid modern Country? Oh hell yes. One hit wonders from ’60s-’90s? Yup!

There are times when I need AFI or the Pumpkins of My Chem. I could be having a shitty day, I might just need a pretty boy to sing to me about sexin’. Whatever the case, I need my gold standards.

Other days, I just need to listen to something of little consequence that makes me giggle or smile. Sometimes I just need background noise!

So, in no particular order, some of my top guilty pleasures.

‘When I Grow Up’ by The Pussycat Dolls: I know, I know. The shame, the horror, the bad dye jobs. I can’t help it! Everytime this song comes on the radio, I want to giggle like a teenager. Even though the Interwebz have said different, I still sing the line as ‘When I grow up ….. I wanna have boobies’ and you can’t stop me!

‘Online’ by Brad Paisley: I first heard this song while at my brother’s house. I was planning on ignoring it until it got to the line, ‘I head down to my basement bedroom and fire up my mac.’ The whole thing is one great big bundle of cute. Bonus, for me at least, is the marching band playing along with the song at the end. I’m a geek and love marching bands! Mr. Paisley is six kinds of adorable, too.

‘Blinded by the Light’ by Manfred Mann: I am well aware that The Boss originally sings the line ‘revved up like a deuce.’ I prefer to sing it ‘wrapped up like a douche.’ This song is LOOOOOOONG, too. Which is nice because it comes on and I know I don’t have to change the station for at least another 10 minutes.

‘I wanna be a Rock Star’ by Nickelback: It’s Nickelback. They’re awful, horrible and everything that is wrong with music today. BUT, this song is oozing with so much cliched cheese that I simply cannot help myself. I told a coworker that Nickelback and its ilk are essentially the microwave burritos of music. It’s bad for you, but sometimes you just have to have it, even though you know you’re going to hate yourself for it later. What seals the ‘junk food of modern music’ title is the voice overlude that states ‘I’ll have the quesadilla, ha ha.’ Trust me, that sick feeling goes away quickly.

‘It’s a Beautiful Life’ by Ace of Base: I’m really not ashamed of my love for Ace of Base. Just try to tell me they weren’t the ABBA of the ’90s! But other people, well, they just don’t understand, so I have to remain quiet about my love for those little Swedish merry makers. This is a really good song to have on the treadmill. The rest of their catalog is fabulous too so fuck the haters!!

‘Touch it’ by Monifah: If you have to be told what this song is about, you should probably not be on the Internet during Freshman English, just sayin’. While Prince did sex songs that were nasty, his had a little something that still made them complex and interesting. This does not. This is pretty damn overt. And sometimes, well, that’s just what you need.

‘Where do you go’ by No Mercy: This always makes me think of well-groomed latino men roaming around Miami in really tacky suits. And also, ‘Night at the Roxbury.’ It is quite a cute little dance song, so I don’t feel too bad about having it on there. The fact that whenever I hit shuffle, it almost ALWAYS comes on after I play a Rancid song, well, that’s just hilarious.

This was by no means an exhaustive list. My iPod currently has around 4,000 songs, so there are plenty of absolute doozies. Milli Vanilli, anyone?

Shoes!!!

I have a love/hate relationship with shoes. I love to look at them, to shop for them, to talk about them. I cannot stand wearing them.

I’m a flip flop kinda girl and will wear them at all times of the year, whether they’re appropriate or not. But on my most recent trip to Virginia, I went shopping with my parents, who are shoe-shopping ninjas. I’m not kidding. They’re good!

Usually I don’t like tennis shoes. Too much tying and whatnot. But I found two pairs that made my heart go pitter patter.

First up, my Roos. God I love these. Aren’t they pretty?! My Dad, ever the detailed shopper, found them for me at this little shoe store in Virginia Beach. They were $22 bucks, down from an original price of $55. SCORE! These suckers are surprisingly comfortable, too.

These are from the same store. Rocket Dog has never let me down. The only shortfall with these is that they’re slightly bigger than I need (I tried going down a half size, but it squished my toes), so I had to get some blister guards. But they’re so cute and otherwise comfy that it’s well worth it. Oh, and these were like $10.

I just got these from FedEx today. Who knew they delivered on Saturday? Anyway, I saw these at the NEX at Oceania and wanted them desperately, but alas, they did not have my size. Nor did the NEX at Little Creek. So on a lark I went to Skechers Web site, and there they were on sale and with free shipping. Hells to the yea!

The moral of the story is, I suppose, that I only like tennis shoes that are unique and don’t look all that much like tennis shoes. Much like the Pumas I’m currently coveting. However, flip flops still can’t be beat, and, frankly, barefoot is the best thing ever!

My Stuff

Like George, I freak out when I’m without my stuff. I must have it at all times. This is why I carry a big purse; I need my stuff.

On my sojourn back from the wilds of Virginia to the wilds of Biloxi, a retarded weather event made my flight to Atlanta a fucking comedy of errors. At the end of it, I was safely in Gulfport and my stuff was in Atlanta. Not good!

A picture’s worth a thousand words

One of the real joys of designing comes when I get to pick photos from the wire. By the wire, of course, I mean the Associated Press. The AP’s photographers do some truly amazing pieces of art. Some will make you cry, others will anger you, others just make you sit back in awe.

Sports photos, however, will make you tear up in laughter. ESPECIALLY FOOTBALL. Yes, I know that when you’re attempting to tackle a very fast, 300-pound dude you have to put your whole body into it. Don’t ask me how I know. But still, the fact remains that tackling does not photograph well. In fact, it looks a lot like hot man lovin’.

Then there are the candid shots. The players could be celebrating or just collecting their thoughts, either way, the camera snaps at just the right moment and it is magic.

Here are some of my favorites (all compliments of the AP)

Yeah, they’re probably just joking around while doing their stretches, but it still looks like the precursor to a blow job. Just sayin’.

The Cutline says he’s reaching for a towel. If by ‘reaching for a towel’ they mean ‘grabbing her breast,’ then yes, I would agree that’s exactly what’s going on.

I don’t really understand what’s going on here, but I like it. This is what the NFL needs: More half-nekkid men doing pelvic thrusts after the game.

This is amazing. I mean, really. What else needs to be said?

Ya’ll! It was cold in Green Bay that night! I’m sure he wants to have babies at some point in the future! And … and… and … Yeah, I know.

Well-fed Vegan

Finally, after months of hits and misses and eating like a five-year-old, I have concocted and executed my first successful recipe!

I’ve been hankering for hearty comfort food lately. I even bought the ingredients to make my former food nemesis Chili Mac. So I hit the Web and my fledgling library of cookbooks to find a chili recipe. I couldn’t find one that had exactly what I was looking for, but I began to notice a pattern.

All of the recipes followed the same basic premise: saute vegetables, then add tomato and beans. Well, I thought, that’s simple enough. I went to Winn Dixie for onions and canned tomatoes and more beans.

Fall Fabulousness

We’ve discussed this, I love Autumn. One of the reasons is the fashion. Oh, how I love Fall clothing. Stoking the embers, is the magazine publishing industry.

My drug of choice is peddled by Conde Nast. Yesterday I got the September issue of Lucky. This issue is 382 pages of sheer Fall fashion joy, including 25 pages of nothing but shoes. You heard me, 25 pages of nothing but shoes! Heaven! Fall and Winter are the only times of year when I will wear real shoes and not flip flops.

Purple suede booties? YES! Sweater coats? YAY! I’ve never before had a desire for riding boots, but now I want them. Badly. Apparently dresses in airy, darkly printed fabrics are back in vogue. Could the early ’90s be coming back? Please let it be so, PLEASE! Rich fabrics, deep colors, varied textures; it’s all so lovely.

Oh, and I did I mention Fall makeup? Today I purchased my favorite lip color. Maybelline’s Lip Polish in Plumshine has done me right since 7th grade. How many other lip products have been around a decade? Cover Girl’s dramatic eyes quad is also wonderful. It has a shimmery white, shimmery silver, black and a beautiful deep burgundy. I love it.

Of course, it’s still 200 degrees with about 9,000 percent humidity outside, so for now, my dreams of knit tights, suede riding boots (yes, I’m vegan; but I still adore suede) and smoky eyes will have to wait until the air cools.